Jul

5

Surviving Autism

July 5, 2007 |

Penelope Trunk, of the Brazen Careerist, writes very candidly about entering marriage counseling with her husband. What caught my eye was her mention of raising an autistic son, and the fact that 80 percent of marriages involving an autistic child end in divorce.

While this is much more personal than I ever get in my blog, I do have two children with autistic spectrum disorders. My youngest is autistic and my middle child has Asperger’s Syndrome.

Raising an autistic child is an incredibly challenging experience. But it can also be incredibly rewarding. As parents, one of those things that keep us from giving up when things are tough is the unconditional love that our children provide. Autism strips many of the signs of that love away. Autistic children can be distant, detached and seemingly unaware of your presence. Parenting without feedback is very hard.

I remember one time in particular when my son was very young. I was working on a contract project right after 9-11. I had been away from home for almost 6 weeks.  I came home, not really knowing if my son would even understand who I was, or that I had been away.

He walked into the room and with no visible display of emotion, climbed up on my lap, wrapped his arms around my neck and held on, face buried in my shoulder, for 20 minutes.

It was then that I understood. Autism may take the displays of emotion, and communication of feeling away. But the emotions are still there at some level.

We worked very hard for a very long time. Now my son is a happy, emotional, loving second-grader.

I wish Penelope, her husband and her son all the best. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.


Comments

1 Comment so far

  1. Pickel on July 13, 2007 8:41 pm

    Bob,
    Thank you for your honesty and opening up. Many times people’s business lives do not collide with their personal lives and sometimes they need to in order for us to stay emotionally healthy.

    My husband and I have found some of our best friends through his job at BASF because his current and previous bosses have had special needs children. It has certainly made our lives much more rewarding.

    I am currently hosting a special needs carnival at Blog Carnival. Hope to see you there.

    Marcie

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